For mothers and fathers

Educating is not an easy task. It requires a long road of learning by trial and error. Nor is it free of conflicts and difficulties, but it can also be the most fascinating and enriching of tasks.

If there is one type of literature that is saturated with industrial quantities of sugar, it is that related to motherhood and fatherhood. Until a few years ago, many books, novels, essays or diaries only talked about the most beautiful part of being a mum or dad, silencing the complications that families encounter when it comes to educating, or reconciling professional and school life, or facing the extreme tiredness that comes from trying to achieve everything, or the frustration of feeling that one does not achieve what one wants. Little was said about the feelings of guilt, sadness or vulnerability that prevent us from enjoying our children’s education, thinking clearly and making the right decisions.

Fortunately, progress has been made in recent years. It is now possible for many families to share, without fear of judgement, their difficulties in bringing up their children and the feelings of guilt and frustration that come with them.

Nevertheless, being able to be happy in parenting entails accepting that things will rarely turn out the way you want them to, that you do not always have the answers to your children’s needs at different stages and that there is no infallible pedagogical manual. Educating is not an easy task. It is not free of conflicts or difficulties, but it can also become a fascinating and very enriching task, based on certain premises-certainties.

Certainties for parents to educate their children without guilt

  1. Children do not need perfect parents, but parents who are present and willing to help them, without feeling shame, complexes or excuses when admitting that they often do not have solutions for everything.
  2. Every parenthood is unique and surrounded by different circumstances. Sometimes it is necessary to review – and perhaps eliminate – mistaken educational concepts or criteria inherited in our childhood.
  3. Children do not come into life to fulfil the unfulfilled dreams of their parents or to fulfil their excessive expectations. They come to grow, to learn and to become unique, worthy, fraternal and free persons.
  4. We must allow ourselves to be helped. Being a mum or dad is a job that, due to its complexity, requires constant preparation. There is a lot to learn. The people who can guide them are irreplaceable for the light and tranquillity they bring.
  5. Value things from a positive and unconditional love. Effective strategies can be learned that respond to the educational needs in each of the stages of development of the children.
  6. And never forget to find the necessary time to take care of yourself, to disconnect and recharge your batteries in order to educate sensibly and serenely.

Education leads to a life of confronting opposing feelings, such as love and fear, joy and sadness, hope and disillusionment. The secret to enjoy this profession is to never stop learning.

Juan Carlos cmf

(PHOTO: Aaron Burden)


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