I am not going to speak here about Paul’s address to the Corinthians on charisms and their theological development. I will keep to a more profane level. I am talking about people who shine in their own light in their social relationships. While most go unnoticed, others manage to display a coveted power of attraction. What are their secrets? Charisma is crucial for working, social, business and even church life. Without a doubt, some people have an innate talent as leaders. Is developing this magnetism within the reach of anyone? Olivia Fox in her book The Charisma Myth mentions three attitudes to achieve it:
Approachability. Possessing charisma depends largely on how present you are in every interaction. Charismatic people remember each other’s names and even what they were told at their last meeting, because they pay attention rather than being caught up in their thoughts. They are intensely empathetic.
Assertiveness. Another trait of the charismatic person is their ability to follow through. They follow through on what they say. Even their gestures speak of who they are, how they think and how they feel. Personal coherence has an enormous pulling power because of the trust it generates.
Warmth. Charismatic people are magnetic because they make others feel important and valuable. They use a pleasant, welcoming, close, natural, non-aggressive tone of voice. Their messages are honest, non-judgmental, affable, friendly. With the brightness of a smile.
Approachability, assertiveness and warmth are, therefore, the hallmarks of the charismatic. But it also requires not stepping on certain mines that dynamite it, such as:
Attention grabbing. The charismatic person knows how to withdraw in time. If, after making a good impression by telling a story, he goes on too long, his attraction fades and the fascination turns into yawning.
Telling problems or criticising. Charismatic people know how to show a point of light where most people only see darkness. Critics are tiresome and put the audience on their guard, as their listeners fear they will be the next to be vilified.
Believe it. There is nothing so repellent as the self-satisfaction of the smug, seductive and glitzy, with a mindless inflammation of the ego. It distances him from others by the contempt or envy he exudes. A charismatic person is humble without realising it.
Juan Carlos cmf
(PHOTO: Dani Guitarra)
